The Icha Icha Craze
by Jojenga
Summary: It was a normal day in Konoha. For most people that is…but Kakashi lost something he never thought possible…his book…and the whole land of fire would have to sacrifice their sanity until he found it but the problem is…The whole world will see it.
1. Lost and Found

The Icha Icha Craze

By: The King of awesome, Jojenga

*Takes place after Chuunin exams*

Warning: by the end of this story, you will probably have the urge to read a lemon. I wouldn't blame ya.

Chapter One: Lost Paradise

It was a normal day in Konoha. For most people that is…but Kakashi lost something he never thought possible…his book…and the village would have to sacrifice their sanity until he found it but the problem is…the one who found it would show the whole village.

"Hn…? Isn't that Kakashi's book?" Sasuke said to himself as he got ready to leave after training. He walked over to the strange book and picked it up. _"Hmm…I guess I'll go return it." _he said to himself as he started down the street. However, fate had different ideas. (A/N: oh god…I'm starting to sound like Neji!) The wind had caused the book to slip out of his hands and when he picked it up, it was on the 1st page. He began reading and soon, he found himself completely absorbed by the little orange book. However, someone would interrupt his reading. "Sasuke? What're you doing with Kakashi-sensei's book?" Sasuke didn't even need to look up to know it was Naruto. Sasuke finished the chapter he was on, which happened to be the last chapter, and shoved the book in Naruto's hands and went to find Kakashi. Naruto just shrugged and began reading.

Sasuke was already wanting the next book…to him now, that book was the only thing that mattered. Hell, even killing his brother didn't matter to him anymore…all that mattered was that book…which is WHY he had to see Kakashi. The moment he reached Kakashi's house, he didn't waste any time. He broke the door down with a conveniently placed axe and as he was hacking away at what was left of the door, Kakashi came down the stairs and witnessed the crazed Sasuke. However, once Sasuke saw Sasuke, Sasuke dropped the axe, ran to Kakashi, and got on his knees and put his hands together. "Please!…I wont ask for another one…just…one…more…" Kakashi wondered what he was going on about and asked, shocked when he heard what his reply was. "Icha…Icha…Paradise…" Kakashi chuckled and put his hand on his shoulder. "Sasuke, follow me." and Sasuke followed his sensei up the stairs…when Kakashi opened the door of his room, there was a fine stream of drool flowing down the stairs and out the door. Asuma was sitting outside his house when he saw the puddles coming from Kakashi's. "Well…looks like Kakashi's having problems with his plumbing again." But back with Sasuke, he had launched himself onto a giant stack of books and started to convulse. Kakashi sweat dropped and wondered. _"Hmm…I wonder where my other book went? Oh well…"_

Naruto had always looked at magazine covers but nothing was as good as this book. He was reading…and reading…and then, he ran into a brick wall. "Grr…I wonder how Kakashi-sensei walks while reading…" and with that, he ran off to find Kakashi…and he left the book behind.

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Oh no!!! the book's gone!!! in you're review, tell me who should get it next. it can be anyone...even...Oro...or better yet...DEIDARAAAAA!!!!!

post-it in your review and i may use your idea if i likey...un


	2. Chain Reaction

"Ok Lee! That's enough training today!" Maito Gai said to his most loved student. And for some reason, he wanted to take lee out to get some ramen. As soon as they finished their ramen, they parted ways. Lee was walking down the street humming a random tune which suspiciously sounded like 'The Eye of the Tiger' when he passed by an alleyway, he stopped. He saw something…orange sitting on the lid of a dumpster. "Ohh the shame! Who would do something as un-youthful as throwing away a book!" he picked up the book and read the cover, instantly going wide-eyed. He argued with himself when suddenly, two mini-lees appeared on his shoulders. "Put it back Lee! Your youthfulness is at stake." said the lee in white spandex. "Oh come on. You've listened to Gai all your life! Doing one unyouthful thing wont kill ya." said the lee in red spandex. "Yeah…but Gai will if he finds out." said the good lee. Then both lees looked to the real lee in surprise. He had already started reading. "GOD DAMMIT" the good lee said as both him and the bad lee disappeared. Lee was well aware of the risk that he was taking but…since when didn't he take risks? He walked by the ramen shop who that was currently housing Tenten. She looked over to him and saw what he was reading. "…Neji, I just lost all respect I had for lee." she said to the teammate who had taken her to the place. Neji looked over to lee and suddenly dropped his bowl of ramen. When lee was out of earshot, he did something that Tenten said he was incapable of.

He laughed. And laughed…and fell out of his seat and his head hit a rock which knocked him unconscious…Tenten just looked disapprovingly and said as she picked Neji up bridal style. "Uh…the money's on the counter." and she started her walk towards the Hyuuga compound.

"Kakashi-sensei…Kakashi-sensei…KAKASHI-SENSEI, OPEN THIS DOOR DAMMIT!" said a certain blonde shinobi while pounding furiously on the door of his teacher's house. The door opened to find someone not Kakashi but…

"Hey, would you keep it quiet Naruto? I'm trying to read." it was Sasuke…in Kakashi's house…and he smelled like dog hair. "Uhh…Sasuke? Why're you in Kakashi-sensei's house…and READING?" Naruto asked in disbelief. He just sighed and continued. "Never mind…where's Kakashi?" Sasuke pointed upstairs and Naruto pushed him out of the way and darted upstairs. Sasuke just sighed and closed the door.

"ZZZzzz…ZZZzzz…" Shikamaru was fast asleep and Ino and Chouji had something in store for him. The prank was to dump a bucket of freezing water filled with leeches on him. They were so close to doing it…then, they saw Lee. They looked questioningly at him strolling down the street until they saw what he was so preoccupied in. Chouji just gave a thumbs-up but Ino was appalled at the sight of Lee reading…that! Ino then looked at Lee…then the bucket…then lee again. Chouji caught wind of what she was planning and noticed her sneaking towards the unlucky ninja…Chouji then looked with anticipation and as soon as she raised the bucket above her head, Lee had finished reading and threw the book behind him which hit Ino which caused her to drop the bucket which…well…"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" was all that could be heard throughout Konoha. Chouji laughed so hard that he farted…on Shikamaru…and he woke up, choking on the thick fumes of Chouji's gas. In fact, Shikamaru fainted from Chouji's gas and Ino's screaming. Asuma just looked out his bedroom window and looked at his students in shambles. "…Why me…oh screw it…" and with that, Asuma went back to sleep.

"Grr…Lee…when I catch up to you…I'll KILL YOU YOU GREEN SPANDEX WEARING SON OF A BITCH WITH THE WORST…" Ino was ranting while Chouji walked up to next to her to pick something up…the book.

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oh ho ho HO! This promises to be my favorite chapter YET! I hope you like insanity because i'm crazier than Tobi Hyped up un sugar!!!

READ...REVIEW...

DEI-DEI-KUN!!! WAIT FOR TOBI!!!


	3. Shock, Awe, and Romance Novels?

"Hmm…hehehe…" said Chouji as he snuck around the still fuming Ino into an alley and opened the book.

…

…

…

"What is this crap?!" Chouji muttered. He thought it would be…well…ya know… anyhow, he was disappointed at this book he'd heard so much about only to find that it was a romance novel. (A/N: hmm…maybe if there were eating contests in the book then he would like it…) he threw the book into the air. "Expansion Jutsu!" he yelled, expanding the length of his right arm, slapping the book away into the sky. Where it landed nobody knows…ok, who am I kidding…it landed in…Suna!

"**Gaara"**…** "Gaara"**…** "DAMMIT GAARA I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!"** _"Ugh…Shukaku shut up…I've got a headache…" _argued a certain red haired ninja. **"Since when do you get headaches ya pansy?!"**

"_Shukaku, I just had my skull nearly crushed to bits thanks to Baki's stupid ass plan to invade Konoha. My siblings were nearly killed, and I do believe you weren't that much help. So I think I have the right to be royally pissed…now shut up…before I kill…myself." _Gaara thought back to Shukaku. **"Heh…you tried that when you were four and it didn't work…what makes you think now will be a difference?" **Shukaku replied back, triumphantly. _"Uhh…dammit…you wi-AAHH!" _Gaara could not finish. For he was pegged in the head by the hard spine of a book. _"And you didn't block that WHY?!" _

"**Two reasons…one, it's possibly the best book in the world. Two, you're an ass." **Shukaku said, laughing in Gaara's head. "Damn Shukaku…damn book…" he was greeted by the sound of someone running towards him. "Hey Gaara, whats up?" it was Kankuro.

"…Damn Kankuro…hey, how's it goin'?" Gaara replied hesitantly. Kankuro looked to see what he held in his hand and went wide-eyed. "Gaara!…I didn't know you could read!" shouted Kankuro, proudly. "Grr…Kankuro, cut the crap and tell me what this book is. Shukaku says it's good but I don't buy it…" Gaara then handed Kankuro the book. **"…God, I hate your guts Gaara, ya know that?! You just hand my favorite book over to your retarded brother, and you expect me to take this?…well…DAMMIT this seal is…gggaaaahhhh!!! I hate you Gaara…I'm going to sleep…unlike you! HAHAHA." **Obviously, Shukaku didn't want anyone other than his container to take the book…sucks to be him eh? "Gaara…you read romance novels?" Gaara went wide eyed. _"Romance novel…and you said I was the pansy…HA!" _Gaara didn't show it, but he was a little intrigued by the mysterious book that fell from the sky. "Can I have that back, Kankuro?" Gaara asked. Kankuro looked scared and shocked at Gaara's sudden display of kindness, then laughed. "Here ya go, just make sure to lay down…that blow to your head must've caused one hell of a lot of brain damage…romance novels…who woulda guessed?" Kankuro said as he walked away. Gaara just sweat dropped and began reading…

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto must've said for the 4,223rd time in a row for the last hour. "What is it Naruto?" he asked, irritated. _"I swear, if it's something stupid I'm gonna kill him…"_ "How do you stay concentrated even when you're reading?" Kakashi went wide eyed for a second, then smiled. _"Well…I guess that might count as 'training'…"_ "Ok Naruto…grab a book and…ya know what? You to Sasuke…follow me guys." and they left and read the whole way there…and I'll explain it in detail.

They were on their way to training ground 7. They tripped, slipped, and fell on the way there…but things got hectic at Ichiraku Ramen.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei, whatcha doin?" asked the ever so innocent Sakura. She got up and walked towards…guess who? Sasuke… "Sooo…whatcha reading, Sasuke?…oh my god…Sasuke? Why the HELL are you reading that?" Sakura asked, suddenly enraged. Sasuke closed the book with his thumb being used as a bookmark and turned to her. "Sakura, this is not what you think it is…it is a deep romance novel with tons of drama and tragedy. So I suggest that you don't judge **this** book by its cover." Sasuke said. And when he finished, he went right back to reading as Sakura began to question liking Sasuke. _"Kami…I swear, if he starts showing up late for training I swear I'm leaving him." _Then, a voice objected.

"**Oh come on! You never had him in the first place. Cha!" **Sakura sighed. _"Oh…shut up…wait…am I arguing with myself…AAAAHHHH!!! I'm bipolar!"_ Sakura thought as she groaned through clenched teeth. **"Heh…no, you're not bipolar…I'm actually a demon…I'm the ten tailed demon of anger."**

And Sakura promptly fainted from shock.

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OOOhhh...Spoooooookyyyyyyy...

Read and Review Gentlemen and Ladys...un

insert random suspenseful music here.

And of course...who should get it next. tell me NOW!!!

Shark+Human+Radiation=Kisame Hoshigaki...wow


	4. Perfect Insanity

"Gaara…are you listening to me? Oh my god…you're reading!" shouted Temari as if she'd seen The first Hokage rise from the grave. "Temari…I'm reading…try not to bother me." said Gaara in his usual monotone voice. Temari just squealed and jumped and clapped saying. "Oh my god! He's reading!" Gaara was beginning to wonder if he really is related to her. _"Hmm…Chapter 7...Betrayal?" _Gaara read, suddenly intrigued by the title. And so, he concentrated with his reading…Kakashi-style.

"…unngh…what happened…?" Sakura said drowsily as she arose to see herself in her home. **"Heh…you…fainting. Nothing really new…heh." **Sakura's eyes suddenly flew open in shock as her memory slowly but surely came back. "D-d-d-demon?…you're a…demon?" Sakura asked out loud, knowing no one could hear. **"Yes…how haven't you noticed? I mean, come on! No one has fake voices in their heads!"**

"Well what about Naruto?" asked Sakura. The demon just sighed and replied. **"He talks to the Kyuubi. The nine-tailed fox demon…hey, don't black out on me again, wasn't it obvious?" **the demon demanded. "Well…kinda…oh wow…a demon huh?" she sighed and then, realization hit her. "Hey, since I have a demon in me, doesn't that mean I have the potential to kick the asses of everyone and everything in existence?" the demon chuckled and said. **"Oh hell yeah. And I'm not the only unknown demon out in Konoha…"** Sakura just chuckled evilly, grabbed a makeshift sword from her closet, and headed out the door into the forest to behead random widdle furry animals…BWAHAHAAHAHAAA!!!

Ahem…anyhow, Back to Naruto and Sasuke's training

"Ugh…guys, I think that's enough 'training' for one day." Kakashi was utterly embarrassed. No one was watching, but he was still embarrassed. Naruto had slipped out from under the grass, get close to 'accidentally' ripping Kakashi's mask off, and even Sasuke with his sharingan managed to fall…off a cliff…and he screamed like the girly boy he is. Sasuke was standing there, sharingan activated, staring at the book with murderous intent. "I swear…I must master you…IF NOT I WILL BURN YOU WHERE YOU STAND! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Sasuke, now criminally insane, ran off to find kittens to murder…BWAHAHAAHAHAAA!!!

Lee was paranoid. He felt like reading that book would have consequences. "Oh come on Lee! Curiosity happens to every man and women in the village! But…it could have been bad." he said to himself as he tried to calm himself.

"**It was most definitely NOT bad my youthful patron!" **Lee was so shocked by this sudden outburst that he shot up from his bed. (A/N: oh, my bad. Did I forget to tell you he was at his house? Sorry, after all, no one's perfect!)

"Oh my god…what was that?…G-Gai-sensei?" Lee looked around but to no avail. He looked in his closet, his living room, in his fridge to see if Tenten had put a walkie talkie in there. **"I be in your head, maytee!! I be the eleven tailed demon of YOUUUUTH!!!!!!!!!!!" **and it was Lee's turn to faint from shock.

His demon just sighed and wondered to himself. **"Hmm…I be wonderin' what Anger be doin'…"**

Gaara was needless to say, absorbed. He was so absorbed in the tiny orange rectangle that he didn't even hear Baki tell him that he was a wuss as he was walking by the sand village's barracks. "Wow…Shukaku, I hate to admit it but…you were right." **"Damn straight!" **Shukaku said, proudly. Gaara nearly lost his pace, but he stopped at the book store and his hands began to quake with excitement. His hopes and dreams rose to extraordinary heights as he peered into the bookstore and found…

"**Th-there's a section for it! A whole damn section of Icha Icha!"** Gaara just gulped and replied. "There must be at least 50 books on that shelf!" his hopes and dreams were than crushed as realization set in.

He had no money…and…if you know Gaara, then that bookstore is a giant target for him…hehehe

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**I'm making a new story! All I'll say is that it's a Naruto x Pirates of the Caribbean crossover, maytee!**

yay and yes KillamriX88 i quoted ya! thanx 4 bein a fan and the next chapter will take an unexpected turn for the hilarius...er


	5. A Simple Authors Note of Awsomeness

I've got bad news, good news, and awesome news and…a question.

1. Bad thingy.

This story is…*sigh*ending in 2 chapters…maybe

2. Good thingy.

There will be a sequel so no need to get all worried.

3. Awesome thingy. 

This is a preview of part of the last chapter. Guess what I used as a base for it?

_Big Shukaku was hopping around Sunagakure city like a big playground. When suddenly Kakashi felt no need to stand idly by and threw at Shukaku, a bomb kunai. Shukaku got pissed and began to thrash, but didn't expect to be hit by…uh…_

_I can't come up with anything else…those of you who know what I'm imitating, come up with a part for it and post it in your review._

_Those who don't…well you're S.O.L._

…

…

_Ok…I'm not THAT mean…go to and look up 'The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny' and Naruto…itize it for me! _

_Jojenga, the king of FanFiction, OUT!_


	6. Prelude to Doom or Happiness

"Hm? Oh, hello Gaara! What can I do for ya!" said the poor, unfortunate soul behind the counter.

"Grr…" the shopkeeper suddenly went wide-eyed. He'd seen Gaara like this years ago before and the sand village was almost destroyed. So he pressed a button on the counter called the 'Gaara is about to go on a homicidal rampage' button and pressed it…just as Gaara did a sand burial. With the shopkeeper's motionless corpse lying in damp, reddened sand, Gaara began walking towards the Icha Icha section. But, that alarm did not go unheard…

Meanwhile, at the Hokage tower

"Shizune…that's the Gaara alarm! Get the Anbu now!" Tsunade yelled ferociously. "Uhm…Lady Tsunade…you sent the anbu on a mission 5 months ago and they haven't come back…" Shizune replied weakly.

"Grr…DAMMIT SHIZUNE, I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO CRITICIZE ME…in fact…I'M NOT PAYING YOU AT ALL!…Grr…get the rookie 9 along with Kakashi Hatake."

"Yes, Lady Tsunade." Shizune said as she left to gather up the 10 unfortunate souls…

In Suna…and the bookstore.

"I'LL EAT YOUR SOULS, YOU WORTHLESS MORTALS!!" Gaara roared ferociously as he molded the bookcase full of Icha Icha onto the back of his sand gourd and using a giant sword he fashioned out of sand, beheaded the sand village's anbu as they tried pointlessly to stop the beast. Then…_they _came…

"Oh my god Gaara!…you can control sand?!"

(A/N: Well uh…I can't show you what happened to that unfortunate soul because I'd hit the MA limit…but in your reviews…you tell me what Gaara did to him/her…as in it can be Temari or Kankuro)

Meanwhile…somewhere outside of Suna in a random cave…

"Hm?" grunted the leader of the Akatsuki as a red light began to flash on his desk.

"Hn…it seems as if the soon-to-be Kazekage has gone insane…odd." he headed to the main lobby of the hideout and told everyone to go to Suna…

Meanwhile, with Mizuki…ya know? The guy in the 1st episode who comes back even eviler later?…never mind…

"Huh? I just could of sworn that I felt a huge upsurge of chakra in that direction…hmm…might as well check it out."

And now with the rookie 9...plus Kakashi.

"Ok men and women…it has come to our attention that Sabaku no Gaara has gone completely insane! It is up to us to stop him…well…you guys…not me…I'll only get involved if I need to." said Tsunade as she paced impatiently around her desk. "This beast must be quelled…lest our lives be lost…now, GO AND KILL THE SON OF A BITCH!!!" that was enough to get everyone going towards Suna. But the horrors that awaited them would be too great for any one man or woman to see…but that's why this is in words!!!

Will Gaara be stopped? Will this madness end? Will Tsunade need a throat lozenge soon? And WHY hasn't anyone reviewed any story other than this or The Deviant Within? Well…the chapters' not over yet retards!

"Precious…my sweet precious…" Sasuke said as he stroked a black saber tooth tiger that followed him as a pet…let's just call it Hail.

"Kakashi-sensei…are you sure we can take Gaara?" said an, obviously angry, Sakura. Naruto butted in and said. "Sakura, if I can take him, then there's no way he'll be able to stand up to all of us. "Wahooo! Road trip! Don't worry…you can count on us Kakashi!" said Kiba as he geared himself up with smoke bombs and food pills.

"What if we underestimate him?" asked a worried Shino, worried for his 'little buddies'

"Shino, we'll be fine! Like Naruto said, if he could take him, there's no way he'd stand up to all of us. Or, seeing as how it was Naruto, even one of us might be a little too tough!" replied Kiba, snickering…

"_Dear god, we're all going to die…well…at least we wont die alone…"_ thought Kakashi as he led the group towards their demise…or place where they'll be named heroes…yaay!

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ha ha HAAA! the awsomeness is soon my friends...soon...

Review as always and maybe if i hit ten reviews then i may get started on the sequel...


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